What do you guys think of this?

It's not excellent, but it has a sarcastic tone that I rather like. Also, I really dislike the name Sebastian Anderson. Very much so. If you're going for a more old-fashioned name (and I assume that you are, since "Sebastian" is quite old fashioned) then I would suggest Richard, Edward, or Daniel for him. For last names, flip randomly through the phone book. Good luck.